Correlation's through Same-Sex Attraction

Out of all the resources, we studied this week the video below had me pondering all week long.

The point of view that there are actually people out there who have feelings of homosexuality who don't want to feel like that. That is a point of view that I have never heard about because we are taught now as a society that they are born that way and we need to accept it without question. Now I do not believe in exile, persecution, or bullying in any way so don't assume that is what I mean. I just find it interesting based on the research in this video that the men can change and find more happiness than they could live a life of same-sex attraction.

Some of the contributing factors listed within the video include the following:

• Bullying

• Wounded Gender Identity

• Inappropriate Touching/Molestation

• Father Hunger

• Pornography Use

As I observed the men within the video it became obvious that these men who were or still are homosexual had very similar backgrounds and experiences. All of them had multiple of these contributing factors and a correlation could be drawn between them. Now we have to be careful not to say that these events or phenomena are the cause of homosexuality because that is probably not true. Correlation does not equal causation. But it makes you wonder how they all connect and are so common between them. Well, one interesting point that was made was the relation between a person's attachment to gender to sexuality.

The relationship from attachment to gender to sexuality is what now makes me doubt that people are born being homosexual. Children are not familiar with the sensation of sexuality or even understand the concept very well. Now if a child experiences some of the contributing factors above in their childhood then it would make more sense why they might have those feelings earlier. For example, I have a cousin who is gay. He was a very effeminate little boy and had a very machismo Latino father. He had no relationship with his father because they had very different personalities and a very affectionate mother who was always hovering over him. He was bullied in school and due to his father's, words had a wounded gender identity.

I can't speak for my cousin in every way, however, he wasn't attracted to men as a child he just liked to do more feminine things like sing, dance, and dress nice. Doesn't that raise an eyebrow? I also saw the same strain on a father and son relationship in the TV show Glee where the son is gay as well. And another character who was gay had no father that we were aware of and had a pornography problem as well. Both were bullied throughout the series.

I thought it would also be interesting to compare this information to my sibling-in-law who is transgender. They were originally a man who transformed into a woman a few years ago. I've always had a lot of questions on how relationships and sexuality work for those who are transgender, but quite frankly feel like I'm walking on eggshells trying to articulate the words to not offend anyone. That being said, my sibling-in-law just married a woman, which would make them in a lesbian relationship.

I can't help but wonder if my once brother-in-law has always had an attraction to a woman and just felt like he was born to be a woman also or if he has a wounded gender identity as a woman to be attracted to another woman as well. I can't imagine how insecure a member of the transgender community might feel as they go through transitioning because of so much change and trying to fit in.

All I can really say is that I feel a lot of empathy for the people who have to go through these difficult to navigate emotions. I honestly hope they can find the help they need and find a lot of happiness, because as many may already know the suicide rate for these individuals is high.

Be kind to all because you never know what they might be struggling with, and just remember that these comments are just my stream of consciousness to try to map out a confusing topic. There are no harsh or ill feelings at all.